5.2 My thoughts
In this exercise, you will examine the explanations that you use to justify your use of CSAM.
Task 18: My thoughts before, during, and after using CSAM
A)
To start, write a list of all the thoughts you use to justify your use of CSAM.
Thoughts before, during and after using CSAM.
It is a good idea to write down the answers, following the table above. Try and keep a diary for at least a week to observe your CSAM activity and the connected thinking. Reflect on your answers.
Before using CSAM:
- How do I justify my use of CSAM before the act?
- How do I justify it to myself that committing the act would be okay?
- How do my justifications relate to the needs and motives behind my use of CSAM?
- What do I think about the victim(s) of CSAM?
- What do I think about myself and other people who use CSAM?
- What negative effects do I think that using CSAM would have on myself and others?
- How do I overcome the negative effects?
- What kind of thoughts would prevent me from using CSAM?
- What stops me from behaving differently?
Whilst using CSAM:
- How do I justify using CSAM during the act?
- What do I tell myself that make it possible for me to commit the act?
- What do I think about the victim(s) and the way they behave?
- What do I think about myself and the way I behave?
- What do I gain from it personally?
- What kind of thoughts would make me stop using CSAM now?
- What stops me from behaving differently?
After using CSAM:
- What do I think about the act afterwards?
- How do I justify the act afterwards?
- What do I think about the victim(s) afterwards?
- What do I think about myself afterwards?
- What do I think about the repercussions for myself, the victim(s) and other people?
- How do I keep my use of CSAM a secret from others?
B)
Next, examine the list you have made
Go through it, question by question, and consider the following questions on each of your justifications for using CSAM.
Write down your justifications on paper and analyze your cognitive distortions by asking yourself:
- What you mean by saying…? (Add your cognitive distortion here) E.g. watching CSAM does not harm anyone, it is a “victimless crime”.
- Consider different explanations and interpretations of the events… what else is happening in the images? In what way, other than a “victimless crime” could you describe the images?
- How factors are interconnected… how does the fact that there is real sexual violence inflicted on a child relate to your thoughts about it being a “victimless crime”?
- Think of exceptions to the rules… you think that watching CSAM does not harm anyone, and it is a “victimless crime” – how do you know that is the case? In what kinds of situations does this not apply?
Think in a new, different way… could you think about this in a new way? For example, “even though I am not directly abusing a child, CSAM does portray real sexual violence against a child, and I do not want to be a part of that as it is illegal and extremely harmful for the child.”
